Hypothetical Questions Get Hypothetical Answers

Hypothetical situation...

A guy is set up with a girl by a mutual friend.
While both parties are shy, he is told that he is 'her type' and that she would be in to him.

After meeting her, he gets the courage to ask the girl out. They go out and he has a good time, and she tells him that she had a good time.

When his schedule allows, he asks her out again and before you know it, a couple of weeks have past and they have gone out several times. Even if it wasn't always a conventional date, quite a bit of time was spent together and it appeared that both parties had a good time. (At least the hypothetical texts confirmed this after each outing or time spent together...)
It was even to the point that the girl was asking when the next time something could be done together. It was not just the boy doing the asking...
To use the popular baseball metaphor, the boy even got a hit. He was trying to make his way to first base but he is not very athletic and remember he is pretty shy...

Then comes an unfortunate evening in which some liquid courage was consumed.
The devil's libation made the boy send some texts that perhaps were a bit too bold and truthful...
This freaked the girl out a bit and seemed to make things awkward.
The boy was told by the mutual friend that everything was fine and the girl still was interested in him and he was over thinking the situation. The boy had nothing to worry about.

HOWEVER...

When the unfortunate evening was discussed later, the girl informed him that a connection was never felt and nothing would or could come of the pairing.

NOW...

Hypothetically, the boy realizes, as Tennessee Williams wrote in The Glass Menagerie, there are boys who meet girls that do not get married.

BUT...

Should the boy be perturbed or frustrated that, despite apparently no connection, the girl continued to accept requests for dates (even suggesting a time for the next one), and let the batter get a hit even if he didn't make it to first base...

Was the girl just being nice and didn't want to hurt his feelings?
Was the girl using him to do things until something better came along? (Hypothetically, the boy has dealt with that before...)
Did the girl feel sorry for him and that was the only reason she accepted the dates? (Hypothetically, the boy has had that happen too...)

OR...

Should the boy accept that this is just how 'the game' is played?
Should the boy just be grateful that it only went on for a few weeks before he found out nothing would happen?
Does the boy have reason to be perturbed?

Completely hypothetical of course...

Me, sarcastic? That seems to be the consensus...

sar·casm

[sahr-kaz-uhm] 

noun

1.Harsh or bitter derision or irony. Mocking, contemptuous, or ironic language intended to convey scorn or insult.

2. a sharply ironical taunt; sneering or cutting remark: a review full of sarcasms. The use or tone of such language.

Synonyms

1. sardonicism, bitterness, ridicule. See irony¹ . 2. jeer.

Does this describe me? 

I never thought so except for perhaps the occasional sarcastic remark for comedic effect.  In general I thought that people liked the happy go lucky 'clown' persona that I end up adopting when I am somewhat comfortable in a situation.  Others tend to not remember how reserved I am in a new setting.

All masks dropped, veils removed, and the lights turned on, I am a fairly shy.  Not super confident in myself. Overall pretty insecure.  All stemming from being ridiculed through twelve years of school.

Constantly concerned about what people thought of me, what they said to me, what they said to others about me...

To this day, I am extremely self conscious when in a new group or even a group of people that I am fairly comfortable with.

Needless to say, it is a bit disheartening when I find that the general feeling is that I could be described as 'sarcastic'...

To make it worse, already don't really feel accepted or part of the group.  

Perhaps this is why... 
Sarcasm, by definition, is regarded as negative.  Not something I necessarily want to be around.

I have been told my doppelganger is Sam Kinison.  I don't see the resemblance but maybe it is more about the harshness in his persona as well...  People tend to not 'get' him and take him the wrong way...

I understand that much of what I say is dry and people might not know if I am serious or not.  Not sure how to take me.

I can only hope that what turns out to be Hyperbole is confused with Sarcasm.
When people give me a compliment and I either say 'I know' or say it is because I am awesome. do I really mean that?  Am I that arrogant?  
No...  It is simply the facade I put up.  Inside I am constantly doubting my worth.

I have to wonder how often this has been the feeling of people I have met and worked with.
Is this why I am still single...  A sarcastic person is not the type that I would want to spend time with...
Is this why I always feel like the bonus onion ring...

I will probably be quiet for a few days, maybe longer, then the mask will go back on the persona that people expect (and want?) will be back, sarcastic, hyperbolistic, and the clown...

A gentleman in THE land of 'Gentleman Clubs'.

I had heard that Tampa had more 'gentleman's clubs', per capita, than any other place.

While driving today I think I passed 10 of them and it got me thinking.

Just on this list of 55, there are 32 that have a Tampa address.  This does not include any in Tampa that did not make the list or any additional outside of Tampa.

I am not making judgements about those who patronize the clubs or get their cash from said patrons.  To each his own.
Personally, I have not gone to one as I don't see the point.  Some may have heard my feelings on the subject but that is a whole other topic.

What was concerning me was, being a single guy looking for that special girl in a town with so many establishments of this type and therefore so many ladies being employed there. what are my chances of finding one that does not work at one.

Again, not judging but it might just be awkward introducing the lady to my family knowing what she does for a living.  Plus, not sure what I could offer her, should I happen to find one, with the money that I make, by comparison, and my job situation.

This all leads me to other questions...  Am I supposed to be in Tampa?  Should I be in another location with another job?  What is that job?  Is it in the theatre industry? 
Am I supposed to be in the theatre industry?  I don't think I would have been able to work as long as I have in the industry if this is not where I was supposed to be but it is difficult believe when it is so hard finding a job that wants to have me work for them full time and make a decent enough salary that I could support a family.  I didn't get into this industry to be rich but making enough to live comfortably would be nice.

Sorry for the tangent, I digress...

I realize that there are a lot of people in Tampa and in the Tampa area and I know a lot of girls that, to my knowledge, do not have a side job at one of the many clubs, but I can't help but wonder how many girls have I run into that have that second job or that is there only job...

Things that make you go hmmm...

Fat Tuesday! A time to be fat no more?

Edited to include some background for the newcomers...

Another Fat Tuesday has come and gone, so shall the fat that graces my body...

That is the plan anyway.

You guessed it.  It is time for New Lent 2013.

For those of you new to this... 
The New Lent is the opposite of your traditional Lent. Instead of giving something up for 40 days, you begin something for 45.  Preferably something that is a benefit to your life.  
Not just giving up pop/soda/tasty beverage, but drinking more water.  
Not giving up junk food, exercising.
You can read more about it in the link.

New Lent 2011 went well, as did New Lent 2012.

Me after working out during/after college...
That is the goal...

This year I am going to combine the previous two iterations in an attempt to lead a  healthier life and, to steal Lester Burnham's line from American Beauty, 'I want to look good naked.'

SO!  This year I will endeavor to drink more water.  The recommended 64 ounces a day.  Not only that, I will try to go beyond that and drink less tasty carbonated beverages.  I won't cut it out completely.  How can one watch a movie in the theater without drinking a very large, if over priced, glass of a tasty beverage...?

Additionally I will be working out (again)...  This time, unlike 2011, I have a exercise facilities readily available for me so there is not an excuse to not really get into it.

This should be fairly easier to accomplish as I will have some additional free time in a short 26 days.  If you don't know what I am talking about it is just as well.  I will take out that stress on the elliptical machine and/or the stacks of weight. 

As to the rules:
- I will consume, at least, 64 ounces of water prior to consuming any other type of beverage each day.
- Each day, I will do some type of work out.  I need to break a sweat.
- A 'day' is not over until I go to bed...  In general the exercise will be the first activity of the day.  If this is not ideal, it will take place later.  If I work out after midnight, it still counts for the day...
- Unlike traditional Lent, participants of The New Lent do not take off.  It is a seven day a week deal which means it runs for 45 days not the usual 40.

In years past, I asked for people to hold me accountable.  I was expected to post that I had worked out.  Friends would ask me daily to make sure I had or had made the plans to complete the task for the day.

I am not necessarily making that same request this year but if you have the desire to check up on me, feel free...

Update in 45 days, maybe before...

“Not the glittering weapon fights the fight, but rather the hero's heart.”

***A bit of recycling from BB times.  April 25, 2009***

A little bit of excitement today...

On my way into the flea market I heard some shouting to, 'Stop that guy'!!!

I then saw a big thug running towards me with a cash box in his hand. Women and children were running for cover...

I immediately kicked into hero mode. With cat-like speed and reflexes, I rushed the guy and tackled him pinning him to the hot pavement kneeling on his back and wrestling the cash box back from his vice like grip. He was begging for mercy. I had none to give...

I was able to return the hard earned money to the little old lady who was trying to make enough money for her dialysis treatments by selling the pot-holders knitted with her arthritic fingers.

I shall expect my tights and cape shortly...

Good Guys 1 - Bad Guys 0...

I am sure everyone has no problem believing these events as factual and true...

However, in reality... This is what happened...

I was on my way into the flea market, I did hear people shouting 'Stop Him!'

That is when I saw the skinny punk running toward me with the cash box in hand. (He must of been new... Trying to make a get away on a busy Saturday on foot with a cash box in his flailing hands. No TOO conspicuous.)
This guy probably would have been knocked over by a stiff breeze anyway...

Still with the cat-like speed and reflexes I threw my hands out to try to block him. Maybe it was the Hero look I have to me or maybe it was that I look like I could be a football player (little did he know that I can barely throw a football - I got the wind knocked out of me playing touch football in junior high...).
In any case, he tried to cut to the right to avoid me. At this point, he slipped and fell on the pavement and dropped the cash box. (Again his amateur-ness shown through as he did not have a good grip on the box and wasn't even holding it by the handle.) He was asking to be allowed to stand up, he promised not to run away (I assume because the pavement was hot).

At this point, four other bystanders grabbed him and held him on the ground until the police showed up on their very threatening golf cart... (At least their tires squealed a bit when they stopped...)

The 'perp' was cuffed and taken away to the flea market jail (he had to walk as there was no room in the golf cart) and the money was returned to the flea marketer... (Sorry no little old lady, I don't even know what the guy was selling)...

If it puts anyone's mind at ease... I do believe that I would have been very heroic if the other men had not jumped on him...

I think I could have taken the punk...

"Love looks not with the eyes but with the mind."

 Jerry Lee Lewis and his 13 year old wife...

So I posted the question to Facebook, 'what is an acceptable age difference when dating?'.

I received many very good answers to this query.

1) 'Make sure she is 18' / 'Not Jailbait'
2) +/- 10 years if you are over 21 is fine...

3) 1/2 my age plus 7.

Number one was one of my favorites and kind of a given...  (apparently Mr. Lewis didn't get that memo but you still gotta love "The Killer")

Reminds me of my time working at a theme park during college when they powers that be wanted to the techs to stand by the stage before the show. (Like people wanted to meet and talk to the guys who run around in the dark...)
What did we do?  Watched girls...  "13" was the code that we used to signify that we thought the female in question was not eighteen.  (If she was not 18, she might as well be 13.)

It also makes me think of a couple of friends from high school times in which the guy was a year older.  I think they were dating when they were both 17.  It then became, technically, illegal or 'wrong' for them to date once he turned 18.  Kind of an odd time for them.

Number two is okay at this point but would have been sketchy when I was 25 if I was pursuing the 15 year old.  As long as I referred to rule number one I would have been okay...

And number 3 (of course taking into account rule number one) seems okay.  Of course if I am still single when I am 60, I could be pursuing someone my current age...
Weird...
At that point I would probably switch to rule number two.

One friend asked how old the girl in question was?  ie: How much younger is the girl I am going for?

The answer to that is that there is not one really...  More of a situation where I am realizing that most of the women that I meet are either younger that me (fortunately satisfying rule number one but falling into the rule two or three range), or they are married and/or have kids.

Now if anyone knows me, or has actually dated me, they know the lighting fast speed in which I move when it comes to making a move and asking a girl out.  I tend to wait for a friendship to develop first which end up being my downfall because by that point I am in the dreaded 'friend zone'.  I like to avoid embarrassment or awkward situations and see if there is a chance at all prior to making that move.


That being said, most (of the few) girls I have dated were younger than me.  Typically only by a year or two.

One was a number two which made for some interesting conversations and/or film viewings...

This girl had not seen ANY of the Star Wars films...  I took the opportunity to watch them with her in chronological order.  It was kind of fun seeing the reaction of the the big family spoiler which I won't mention here in case any depraved individuals who read this have not been exposed to the saga...

I kind of like the idea of introducing someone younger than me to some of the, in my opinion, classics of cinema.

I guess I would be fine with being considered a Panther.  The mascot of my Alma mater is a panther so why not???

The Lady Doth Protest Too Much.

Or perhaps needs to protest a little bit more, or maybe have some type of reaction...

If you know me you may (or may not) know that I am extremely shy.  I find it very difficult to ask that simple question of, "Do you want to go out sometime?"
Long story of why I believe this to be, perhaps someday I will put finger to key and get it out there.
Mostly because I want to get to know a lady before asking her out...  Although most will say that is what they are looking for, it ends up ruining the chances as we have entered the friend zone.

If/when I do end up getting the nerve to ask that question and get that elusive first date and then actually keep them going, and become 'a couple'...  I believe I end up being a pretty good boyfriend.  (Should anyone who has dated me reads this and disagrees, please don't tell me...  Let me continue being blissfully unaware.)

All that being said.

A scenario to consider:

I am currently working with a nice girl who has a great personality and seems very fun.  I think we could get along nicely.  (BONUS: She is close to my age and is not married, and does not have any kids.  I have found that tough to find today depending on where you located.)

While chatting she mentioned that it is tough for her as most guys don't want to taker her out or date her.

I said, "I would love to take you out, are you working Friday?"

She thought for a second and said she was.  It was left at that as we had to get to work...

Optimistically I was hope for "Sure", or "Maybe we could do something after work", or "I work Friday but I am off on _______".
Alas, no...  Nothing more was really said.

So I have to ask, where did I go wrong?

Did I wait too long?  Could she still be interested and is just as shy about this sort of thing as me?  Should I keep asking?
I would think that if she was at all interested, she would have suggested an alternate time, of course I have been wrong before.

Then again, maybe I should take it as a practice run that was not meant to be.

There is another that I had been trying to be bold enough to ask out.  We have similar taste in books and TV shows.
Maybe just maybe, if I am lucky.  She will be working tomorrow and I will have enough courage and the opportunity to ask her out after I had my little dry run today...

Who knows, maybe this one will say yes...