Journeys End With Lovers Meeting

"What is your definition of love?"  This was asked of me a bit back by a friend.  After much consideration, here are my feelings.

Different views regarding "The Big L"...   

Shakespeare: "Love looks not with the eyes but with the mind"

Dictionary.com: noun, verb, loved, lov·ing.

1. a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.

2. a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.

3. sexual passion or desire.

4. a person toward whom love is felt; beloved person; sweetheart.

5. (used in direct address as a term of endearment, affection, or the like): Would you like to see a movie, love?

According the the best selling book:  Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.


Musically they have said it is a 'many-splendored thing', that it 'lifts us up where we belong' and that it is all we need.

 

As for my friend, she feels that (paraphrasing) "love is not a feeling or emotion, but that instead the feeling people have is infatuation and that feeling will fade.  That feeling will fade.  Love is a choice.  When infatuation fades, you choose to love the other and honor the commitment you made to them.  You make it work."

Each of these have very valid points in the argument.  When I think of my friends feelings on the subject, I can't help but think of one of my favorite songs by Meat Loaf.  In "Paradise by the Dashboard Lights", the main character makes a promise, during a moment of passion, to love the girl "until the end of time".  He then falls out of love/infatuation and is then "praying for the end of time" so he can end his time with her.  He is nobly staying true to the promise he made but is not happy and is regretting it.

Do I believe people fall out of love?  Sure.  Do I believe that people who truly are in love never have problems and everything is always hunky dory and they never have to work on it and work things out?  NO.  Absolutely not.  There will be hard times. You commit to each other, "for better and worse".

All that being said, I believe that if you love a person (and they love you in return), you both should be willing to work on things.  You should be willing to fight for your love.  You should NOT settle and accept the cards that have been dealt to you.

Of course I do believe many rush into saying (and perhaps believing) that they are in love when it might not be the case.

Love at first sight...  Maybe, but unlikely.  Definitely infatuation/lust at first sight (of course).  However, that should not the the only thing a relationship is built on.

I like to think of "The Wedding Singer" Broadway or movie and the song "Grow Old With You".  

 

Beyond the infatuation/lust/love, whatever you want to call it, there are the little things that are very important.  To me at least.  Besides enjoying the others company you should enjoy the idiosyncrasies of the person, they should not be something that you put up with or cringe about but smile about.  A former girlfriend would get very tense walking on cracks in the sidewalk, she would grip my hand tighter when she had to walk on a crack or over a grate in the sidewalk (or was pulled over one by me - yeah I am twisted).  It did not exasperate me, it made me smile.  I thought it was cute.  

It is remembering the little things like how they like there hamburgers or what their favorite beverage is.

For me it is more than anything physical in the relationship, it is knowing that when you see that person, everything is going to be okay.  You can tell them anything and they won't judge you.  You can vent to them and you are ready to let them vent to you.  

Some of the best time you spend together is sitting silently watching T.V. and being comfortable enough to fall asleep and if it is the other that fell asleep enjoying just watching them peacefully sleeping.

Alas, I have not found that lady for myself but someday I will find someone who has a quirk that will make me smile each time I see it. Someone that I will want to grow old with.  Someone that I will want to take care of and who will want to take care of me.  Someone who I will feel perfectly at ease falling asleep next to, and who I can watch sleep and get a sense of peace.

Not today, maybe not tomorrow but someday.

"The course of true love never did run smooth"

He's mad that trusts in the tameness of a wolf.

As I begin this it is about 24 hours since I received my visit.

I am all for visitors, I would even be up for visitors of the alien persuasion...  Give them the benefit of the doubt and hope they are not the nasty kind like in Independence Day or the mouse eating lizards like in V.  (The good one from the 80's not the one in 2009.  To be fair, I didn't see the new one but if the lack of a second season is any indicator...)  We can hope they are more like Starman or E.T.

I digress.

My visitor was not an alien in the literal sense or even a mammal.

I was watching a bit of TV and across the floor skittered my visitor.  If it weren't for the many legs, I would have thought it a small mouse.  It was, in fact, a large spider...

I am not the biggest fan of arachnids...  I know they have there place in the grand scheme of things but if they would just mind their own business, we would get along fine.
Plus, this was not your typical spider you find in your house, or even on your way to the car that can be quickly dispatched with a bit of tissue or the bottom of a shoe...

My research, on Wikipedia of course, in the AM taught me that it was (I believe) a Wolf Spider.

Yeah, that was about the size of the one I saw...  No - that is not me holding it...

In reading the Wikipedia page on the guy, I discovered that he was not all bad.

- This type of spider usually lives in solitude so I, most likely, would not get his brothers or kids coming by for a visit (although they won't be avenging his death either).

- This spider (and any spider I guess) is good to have around as they eat insects...  I think this one may have had his fair share...

Now, I have always felt that the little spiders are creepier.  Maybe it was the movie Arachnophobia...
I figured the bigger ones were more like a small mammal, just the extra legs and not really cuddly...  At one point I held a tarantula at a bug zoo in Canada.

This one was kind of in the mid-range...

I made the decision that it was either him (maybe her???) or me.  The spider would have to go...
Briefly I thought of the old shoe method to dispatch my visitor.  I quickly changed my game plan as I decided if I tried to smack it, it would just become angry and who knows what it may do...
I decided a watery grave may be a better choice.  Not necessarily fatal for the creature, he may have a chance to escape from the sewer far away from my domicile

Fortunately I like to drink Diet Pepsi and had an empty 12 pack on hand.  I ever so gently encouraged it into the box.
I could be wrong but I don't think you should be able to HEAR the foot falls of a spider...

This thing was tap dancing in there...

He splashed into the toilet and I thought victory was mine with a simple flush.

It would seem these things can swim, or at least this one could (later, I heard that the hair follicles of the spider are hollow making them buoyant - could be wrong...  No further research done on this aspect)...  While swirling, he tucked in his legs and then proceeded to try to climb out of the toilet when the swirling stopped.

Another flush...  Still no success...

I would have to step it up a notch.  Lime Away would have to do...  I did not wish him harm but, as I said, it was him or me...

A few sprays into the bowl caused him to curl up a bit and then sink in to the water, although he was still pretty frisky.

Dare I flush again?  Would it work?  Would my visitor depart?

I did, it did and he did...

Let this be a lesson to all the spiders out there...

DON'T MESS WITH ME.  I have bathroom chemicals and I am not afraid to use them...

How Poor Are They That Have Not Patience.

According to Wikipedia (which ironically [you will see it by the end of the blog***] is where I got my information), there is a list of heavenly virtues which are the counterparts to the Seven Deadly Sins (incidentally the theme of the murders in a very cool movie.  [If you haven't seen Se7en - shame on you and where have you been???])

I think our society is beginning to drop the ball a bit on "Patience'.  At least most of us are not replacing it with the counterpart of 'Wrath'.

We must have everything RIGHT NOW...  We desire immediate gratification.  Back in the day people would actually right letters to communicate with each other, or call on the phone and leave a message (or *Gasp* call back later if it was before voice mail).
We would actually turn on the stove to heat water, or cook a snack.
We I remember actually looking through stacks of books, including the big shelf with the red encyclopedias to finish a research paper.

Today, people need to get their very important information to you so fast they send you an email and probably follow it up with a voice mail and a test to make sure you got the information.
Granted, I can appreciate cell phones and email.  In a hectic business environment I am not sure how some things could have gone as smoothly as they do today with the ease of communication that we have.
At the same time I find it odd when people do not get an immediate response from you or if you dare to not answer your cell phone.  It wasn't that long ago - do people remember what they did before texting and voice mail / answering machines (not to mention cell phones)?

I remember it being very exciting for us when Mom got a microwave oven.  (Yes, Mom was excited too...  She has always been more into practical gifts over glitzy...).  Now, say 20 years later, I find myself staring into the microwave watching my pizza or sandwich turn on the little magic tray urging it to hurry up, not wanting to wait the whole three minutes for my food to heat up...  (Maybe that is why I can appreciate cold pizza...)

Back in my day we had to venture into the library and deep into the stacks (never did get to smuggle beer in and drink one in the stacks with Courtney and Stephanie - we wanted to do it by the books about beer and/or brewing), to find the book we needed.  I have had to use the card catalog to find out where to find it (that dude Dewey had WAY too much time on his hands), during college it was getting to the point where you could search for the book on a computer and then go find the book in the aforementioned stacks or get the article on the way cool microfiche...  A small amount of my research was done on the still somewhat new World Wide Web.
Today I think it would be very cool for a teacher to assign a research paper in which the internet could NOT be used.  The students would have to (first find the library) then spend several hours in it to get all the information they needed.  Of course this could cause a lot of their heads to explode a la "Scanners".

Today so many things are done on the internet.  From shopping to dating.  When I was a kid we would buy a roll of stamps every couple of months.  NOW, we may need to buy a book every six months.  That is how many bills are even done online.
We can't be bothered to travel to the store or are too busy or don't have the time to do the foot work and go to several stores to find exactly what we want, so we turn to the keyboard and with a bit of searching, we find what we want and can buy it and have it shipped to our home within a couple of days (sooner if we are really wrathful or whatever they opposite of patient is - I could look it up but I can't be bothered to open up a new tab and find out on the trusty internet).
It is the same way for dating and finding that perfect someone.  It used to be that you would have to actually leave the house, and go to a bar or the local watering hole, or socialize with someone at work other than shooting them and email of a funny joke.  We are talking actual face time here.  Today, you can go to any number of sites and fill in all your criteria and voilà (looked up online  - as I am not 100% on where a physical dictionary is and could not remember the spelling), you have a list of individual fitting everything that you are looking for along with way to contact them without picking up a phone or actually leaving the house.

One final thing (for this blog anyway - I am getting tired) that has changed a lot in recent years is entertainment.  We are now able to find out all about upcoming movies, music and books well before their actual release.  Back in the day we would have to look in these nifty things called newspapers and magazines to find out when the new project by our favorite actor or musician was coming out.  We would have to go to the movies in order to see the trailer for the movie we were anticipating the release of.  Even then, we would only be able to see it once, we would have to buy another ticket to see the three minute tease another time.  (Even to find the movie theatre  that a movie was playing, we would have to check the paper or call Moviefone.  I mentioned - or explained the concept rather - after I used my best Moviefone voice and received only a blank stare from the 19 year old as she had NO CLUE what I was talking about.)
Now with a quick internet search, we can find out all kinds of dirt on the movie and it's stars, leaked photos and trailers a year or more in advance of the release.


I don't know if it is impatience, or  if we are becoming lazy(ier) or if it is simply the natural evolution of things.  In any case,  I can't help but wonder (if things have changed this much in my life to this point, what will it be like at the end of my life.

Is the concept of Virtual Reality or the film "Surrogates" that far off?

Maybe soon, we won't have to leave the house at all...

***'Written' completely with out pen, paper, or use of any research material other than the internet and ideas and concepts I heard from podcasts downloaded from the internet.

At least my wrath is in check...

What Is A Dually?

Now I would not necessarily call myself an uneducated person.
I have always done well in school.
I have lived in several different parts of this country and traveled to many parts of the world.

I do believe one can always learn something new and I am not against that in any way.

If someone asked me to define dually, I would probably come up with something close to what the dictionary has:

1. of, pertaining to, or noting two.

2. composed or consisting of two people, items, parts, etc., together; twofold; double: dual ownership; dual controls on a plane.

3. having a twofold, or double, character or nature.

Today was a day in which I learned something new.

While working, I took an order over the phone for pick up.  When I got the vehicle description the gentleman on the other end of the line said, "I drive a 1 Ton Ford 'Dooly'".  I repeated the vehicle type just to make sure I heard it correctly.  I did.

I gave him the total and hung up.  When I asked the bartender if she knew what a 'dooly' was, she sort of laughed and said yes.

I was part of the very small minority of people in the restaurant, guests and workers, who did not know what a 'dooly' was/is.

I started life in Colorado (okay, technically I was three [or 36 months - depending on who you talk to] when we moved to Colorado), lived for many years in Illinois, have spent time in New York, lived in Florida for a while (and will be again soon), and have traveled through a lot of Europe and the Caribbean.

I have NEVER heard of an alternate name of 'dooly' used for a truck...  Lori in England, yes.  Some names I cannot pronounce from other countries, of course.  'Dooly', never.

That is right friends, for the uneducated or unknowing, a 'dooly' or dually, is a pick up truck.  It is specifically the type that has double wheels on each side on the rear axle.  (Therefore, 'dual' and dually.)

I have always known this to be the 'horse trailer truck' or the 'camper truck' or 'the truck that you use to pull larger loads', any variation along that line.

This is not the case here in Tennessee.  The majority of the individuals asked or informed about my (very humorous apparently) lack of knowledge on the vernacular of this area, knew EXACTLY what 'a dually' was referring to.

This is what one looks like unless you know what I am talking about by 'the horse trailer truck'.

So for the rest of the day - certain bartenders decided to call me 'dooly'.

I know of other trucks that have ten wheels as well.  Double axle on the back each axle with four wheels each.

When I inquired about what 'cool name' this type of truck had I was quite disappointed as it is simply called a 'ten wheel'.  

I am sure many of you are wondering the same thing as I.  Why is there a fun and festive name for the six wheeled, or aforementioned 'dually', and the more impressive ten wheeled big brother is simply called a 'ten wheel'?

Although I could not find an acceptable answer to this, I would formally like to announce my new word/name for the ten wheeled vehicle with which to pull a trailer for animals larger than a horse (perhaps cows?), or a larger trailer than your basic pop up or out...

Drum roll please...

The ten wheeled truck shall now be called 'a decly'...  (TM @TheSethBerry August 27, 2011)

Please pass the word and feel free to insert my new word into your vocabulary and use it as often as possible to get it out there into the world.

To Scape or Not To Scape

I don't think there should be any question...

If you know me, there are several things you probably know;

1 - I do not like to wear pants - since my Freshman year in college when I broke my leg and had to wear shorts to get them over the cast (people would laugh if I wore nothing).  It was in the middle of the winter but I just got used to it and found that most buildings had the heat cranked so it was hot inside.  If I wore jeans my legs would get cold regardless and would hold the cold air within the denim and my legs would remain cold longer.  If I wore shorts, the warm air would hit my skin quicker and warm up my legs faster than had I worn pants.

2 - I am not really fond of regular shoes, I prefer sandals or bare feet for myself - I DO NOT like feet (a horrible part of the body but that is for another time) but I do like some cool shoes on a lady, but don't ask me to touch them...  When we cram the infant feet into shoes before they can even walk, we are squishing the feet and letting them get all hot and sweaty...  Feet need to breath and enjoy the sun like the rest of our body...  Sandals or bare feet are the way to go...

3 - I do enjoy a tank top or a sleeveless shirt - like the feet needing to enjoy the sun, our whole body needs to enjoy the warmth of the sun.  I believe I am meant to live in a warm climate.  Hopefully this next holiday season I will be in Florida and not getting weird looks when I am wearing my short and sandals.

4 - I am not a hairy dude... - minor point but relevant in this topic.

(Basically I should be a beach bum and should have grown up on the beach but was born in the wrong place geographically.)

That being said.

I don't think I would be donning a tank top or sleeveless shirt if I already had built in sleeves.  I saw a dude the other night that, at first glance, looked to be wearing a 'criss cross' style shirt with a bright yellow center and dark sleeves.

Not the case.

He was, in fact, wearing a tank top and not a shirt left over from the 80's...  He did have the aforementioned built in sleeves.  It was like a car crash, I did not want to be rude and stare but I could not help but take several quick glances.

Although I can not speak from experience but I can only imagine that wearing double sleeves would not be comfortable.  This could be why most dogs do not enjoy wearing clothes.  They don't want the extra layer any more than I would.

If I was 'blessed' with the extra insulation or was follicly enhanced, I think I would be forced to go the route of the man-scapers.  I would have to remove the excess follicles and wear my sleeveless shirts.
We have learned from The 40 Year Old Virgin that waxing can be painful.  I know that plucking eyebrows is not pleasant.  A girlfriend wanted to do that to me once and it hurt...

I guess to each his own but I don't think their should be that much hair on an individuals arms.

If It Ain't Broke, Don't Try To Fix It...

The other day I heard some disturbing news.  (Probably more disturbing than it should be but that is part of what makes me me.)

I heard they are planning on re-making "War Games".  You know, the one that was all about the kid who used a dial up connection to hack into a computer the size of a house and starts a nuclear war...  What will this one be?  His iPhone and his 3G network?  It just seems silly to me, especially after they already made a "War Games 2".
The 'sequel' was okay but it really had a feeling of  tacking on a '2' to the title and get a number of people who enjoyed the original (and superior) film.  They did bring JOSHUA back to 'beat' the new modern computer (unlikely but okay, tie it into the original a bit).

What's even worse is that they are re-making "Footloose".  I have seen the preview of this film.  Much of the dialogue is word for word identical to the original.  Sounds good right?  It is until you see the dance sequence at the drive in.
In the original, it is a group of people having a good time and dancing to have fun.  In the new one, the dance sequence looks far less innocent.  It is 'today's' dancing, grinding on each other and one step away from needing a room (yes, still fun but in a whole different way).
Cut to the town council meeting where Ren is arguing about the dancing being for fun and there is nothing wrong or immoral with their dancing.  A more compelling argument for the dancing in the1984 version.

I have no issues with re-making films or story lines, as long as the intent is to improve the content.  All too often, it is not needed and there is no improvement on the film.
Take "Ocean's Eleven".  I saw the original 1960 version with the Rat Pack.  That one was very good and I enjoyed it although it threw you a curve and (spoiler spoiler) the 'good' guys did not succeed in their heist.
When the re-did the movie, I felt there were improvements to the story and with the modern technology it was a very creative robbery and the cast of well knowns didn't hurt it either.  Although I liked the two set in Vegas better, all three movies were enjoyable to watch.

Sometimes It may be better referred to as a re-imagining which is okay but will most likely annoy the fans of the original.  The re-make (re-imagining) of "A Nightmare on Elm Street" was okay but I think it would have been better if they just made a basic horror movie.  The movie was trying to cash on the originals success.  For my taste, they changed the origin of the character too much and messed with the story that I am a fan of.

On the other hand, I liked the new "Friday the 13th".  It stayed true to the story.  It combined a bit of the first three original films and mashed them into one, but it worked.

Going from the Batman TV series in the 60's to the 1989 Tim Burton Batman (although they got a little silly at the end of that stretch of films) to the current Christopher Nolan series of Batman Begins and two sequels.  Different takes of the same character and vision of the world, but they tended to stay true to the story arc and for the most part are very enjoyable.

Maybe I am being too hard on Hollywood or maybe I am just ready for my own balcony a la Statler and Waldorf and just have a need to complain.

Eventually all ideas will have to be recycled...  Not EVERYTHING can be original but there seem to be a lot of movies that are re-makes that do not work.

I guess, as Garth so wisely and simply put it, "We fear change."

Perhaps I shouldn't but as I so wisely put it "It's part of what makes me me."

What Fools These Mortals Be

This is actually a bit of recycling.  GO GREEN PEOPLE!

Hopefully this will give me a little kick start to start putting up posts on a regular basis.

I had posted this in a 'note' on my Facebook profile while I was quite frustrated with the attitudes of many I was working with at the time.  Attitudes that I could not really get behind or wrap my head around.

Although I am still frustrated with work, it is more due to the lack of job in my chosen career field (theatre).

Anybody know of something preferably in Florida or a warm climate give me a shout.

*****************************************************

September 9, 2009

What Fools These Mortals Be…

What has happened to theater (or theatre if you are really into it…)?

I got into this business because I loved it… I guess deep down, I got into it because I would like to make a decent amount of money. But, in reality, I know that it is very unlikely that I will be drawing a 7 figure paycheck from doing a show whether it be performing or running around in the dark…

I got into it because I like the idea of giving people an escape from reality. I liked the idea of escaping reality.

I would think that most others got into this line of work for the same reason. There are few that are under the delusion that they will end up drawing that illustrious 7 figure paycheck for what they do. But if we are honest with ourselves, we know that that probably will not happen…

“We fool ourselves so much we could do it for a living.” Stephen King via Wireman.

At some point it became a job for a lot of them.

That is unfortunate.

While in college (people unknowingly thought I was taking the ‘easy’ way out by being a theatre major. Little did they know that, for me, it was a bit more than the M-F 9-5 classes) I would meet accounting or business majors and ask them why they were majoring in accounting or business.  Did they love math or business? The answer was No… The most common answer was, “Because I can make a lot of money.” Or, "I can get a good job."

I can’t imagine doing something that I was not in love with for 40+ years until retirement solely because of the ever longed for dollar. I know in certain situations it is a means to an end or out of necessity.  I can understand and get behind that.

However, it gets under my skin when I hear people saying ‘it's not my job’ (or yob) or ‘that’s not in my contract’.  I could understand it if you job was to clean out sewage pipes or fix issues with Black Water (sewage on a cruise ship)…  If I was responsible for that, and someone asked me to clean out an area that was not in my section, I would have to say ‘That’s not my job’.  Of course, I think if I was in that situation it was not because I enjoyed cleaning up Black Water, it was a matter of necessity.

That being said, when someone in this industry pulls out that line, or tries to get away with the least amount of work possible, it makes my blood boil.

I remember, back in the day, and a little closer to the current day for that matter, when I would work many long hours just to get the show up and running. I was not on the 9-5. I was on the 9 (or earlier) until it was all done…

Perhaps it was blissful ignorance of youth, but I remember when, working in community theatre, before partially driven by the dollar, when I would rush home from school, finish my homework because we had to eat dinner ASAP so we could get to the 7:00 rehearsal.

Everyone seemed to do that… The entire group, or a large portion of it would give 110% of their time and energy to get it done. We would finish a show, strike the set and head to the auditions for the next adventure (still with make up and sweat from the last performance on our bodies).

I keep hearing of this thing called a weekend… I am not exactly sure what people are referring to, but growing up Saturday and Sunday just meant a full day of working at the theatre building the set or rehearsing. Whatever it took…

I remember working three days straight in New York to get the show open in time. It was one of the best summers I can remember.

In recent years, the commitment does not seem to be there. They are willing to do the least amount of work possible. They are not ready to go that extra mile. They want to be the star and that is it. At a moment’s notice they are ready to say ‘That’s not my job, or that is not in my contract.’

Whatever is best for the show is the way I like to go about things.

I know people don’t want to be taken advantage of but still…

Perhaps ‘theatre people’ are a dying breed or they have evolved into something less than what they were. 

Perhaps the passion is not there anymore.

Perhaps the love, like the music, has died…

Perhaps the spark is still alive somewhere in the young or the young at heart…

I think I might be a little too young say, “when I was young…”

BUT… When I was young…

Oh well… I guess it is what it will be…