No Legacy is so Rich as Honesty

What follows is the tale of how I almost got a 32" flat screen TV for $20 and change.

All I wanted, like any good Kevin Smith fan was to get a proper poster frame for my Zack and Miri poster.
This is large poster therefore a large frame; 27"x40".
Most stores do not carry this large size on their shelf so I hit the internet. I found one online that I could get for $19.97 plus tax and shipping. As I am cheap and did not want to pay approximately 25% of the cost of the item to get it delivered to my door, I chose to pick it up at the store and not pay for the shipping charges.

To protect the 'innocent' I shall refer the store as Schwal~Mart...  Even better, S-Mart [because Bruce Campbell and Army of Darkness are awesome...].

I head to the local S-Mart to pick up the poster frames I ordered (I have a couple others that needed suitable frames).

I give my information to the employee and off she goes to get products.
Initially she brings out the one package with two of the three frames and goes to get the second box. As she is pulling the larger box out she calls out,
- 'You got the TV right?'
- 'No... It is another poster frame...'
- 'Well, your name is on it...'

After more searching for the right product and checking the computer, it is found that the order number on the TV is correct and it is what was sent on my behalf from the warehouse.

Two more S-Mart employees get involved and cant figure out what to do and keep looking to me for some brilliant idea as to how to handle this.
["YOUR THE S-MART EMPLOYEE! I JUST WANT MY POSTER FRAME..." I did not say this although I wanted to as this was not entirely there fault.]

After much discussion it was decided that they would refund the one item and I would have to take it up with the internet and just re-order the one item.
Out pop some receipts that I must sign for the 'return' of the item I never received.
It is for the wrong item.  She just 'returned' the item that was correct and is then supposed to send it back to the warehouse.

Now it gets complicated.

1) She is unable to un-return the item as it already went through the computer.
2) The item that should have been returned was a price difference of $3.97 plus tax, which at this point I did not even care about.

'What are we going to do?'
Again...  YOUR THE S-MART EMPLOYEE! I say to myself...

She decides to make up the $3.97 difference by taking if off of the price of the couple of items I had picked up and was going to buy.
Items total was $4.22, less $3.97...
...
...
...
Out comes the calculator to figure out how much I owe... (Spoiler, it was 25 cents... No calculator...)

I pay my 25 cents.

She then decides that they still need to 'return' the TV and with the difference of $4.51 still needs to come to me (she does not care about the previous $3.97 off that happened previously and I have decided to keep my mouth shut and not argue or try to help any more...)

Forty Five minutes later, I have $4.51 returned to my debit card, $17 and change returned to my PayPal account, paid 25 cents for something that I still think I should have paid $4.22 for and have 2/3rds of the poster frames that I bought but may have been returned and I have them anyway so they might be stolen...  I am very confused...

I really wish I could have been a fly on the wall when she was trying to explain this whole thing to the manager and/or accounting office...

The questions that remain;
- Had I not been cheap and sprung for the delivery to my house, would I have found a TV on my doorstep?
- When I re-order my frame, do I pay for the shipping and see if I get a TV instead?
- If I do, what do I do with it?
- Should I pay for the shipping to try to pay back some of the $3.97 that I should not have received?

I am somewhat shocked at the number of times the employees said, I just would have taken the TV and not said anything...  The cashier claims she would have realized that it was not supposed to be the TV but I am not 100% sure on that...

Based on the title, several legacies are not very rich...
What else would they just keep there mouth shut about?

Make use of time, let not advantage slip.

365 days ago I made a decision.

Now, if you know me, you probably have heard various stories of either questionable decisions I have made or decisions that might have seemed like a good idea at the time, quite possibly during college.

All too often decisions are based on time. 

It always seems to come down to the length of time, either it is too long or too short.

This is the case with my decision.  Time was going to be too much and too little.

365 days ago, I was still in the process of getting my house.  I was therefore commuting to work.  It was a good fifty miles each way.  The majority of it was on the highway and it took me about forty five minutes to make the trip.  I made this trip just about every day.

365 days ago, I had a morning rehearsal and then a show that night.  I had a six hour break between the rehearsal and when I would have to be back for the show call.  I had debated on driving home during that break.  I decided it would take too long, and I wouldn't have much time at home.  I didn't want to drive for an hour only to drive another hour back after ONLY four hours at home.

I did also not want to spend the extra money on gas.  I was trying to buy a house and wanted to save the extra money.  I was already filling up the car every other day.  Two round trips in one day would be most of a tank of gas.

My decision, based on time and money, was to stick around town and waste the six hours.  I went to the cheap movie theatre to eat up some of that six hour chunk.

After the show that night, I made my forty five minute drive back home.

When I arrived home, my Mom was unresponsive to Dad and he asked if I could rouse her.

She was unresponsive to me and after trying for a long time (what seems like a long time, probably wasn't but maybe it was too long...), and not feeling a pulse, I dialed 911.

I then had to perform CPR, with the guidance of the operator, on the woman who birthed me, raised me, always protected me, and would shake her head at some of my questionable decisions.

I was unsuccessful.

Paramedics were unsuccessful.

Doctors were unsuccessful.

Life from that point on would be very different.

I just want to say that time does not matter.  Money doesn't matter.

If you have the opportunity, even if it is only for four hours, and it requires a two hour round trip….

TAKE THE TRIP…

I didn't and as a result, I didn't really get to say goodbye to my Mom.

Due to coming home late and leaving early, the last couple of times I saw her, she was half asleep and it was just a quick, “Love You, see you tonight” or “I’m home.”

Don’t let your excuse to yourself or to others be that it is too late, or it will take too long, or it is not enough time.

Take any time you can when you can.

You never know what you might miss…

I Love and miss you Mom.

Update after dinner: Mom's fine and keeping an eye on us.

The New Lent 2015!

Okay people.  We are on a time crunch here.  Fat Tuesday kinda snuck up on me this year, and therefore #TheNewLent 2015 is fast approaching.. I missed it last year due to life being life.

If you are new to the party, you can read about the last years in previous posts:: #TheNewLent, Happy Fat Tuesday, and Fat Tuesday!

A basic recap if you don't feel like reading the previous posts and/or if you just want to quickly be brought up to speed.

- They say Lent is the 40 days from Ash Wednesday leading up to Easter.  Spoilers - if you check the calendar it is more than 40 days between Ash Wednesday and Easter.  Apparently .in Lent you are able to take Sundays off.  Not so in #TheNewLent.  We do our thing on Sundays too...

- In #TheNewLent, you start something up instead of refraining from something.

The first year made it well past Easter and was feeling pretty good, and then...  Life.  We moved so it made it difficult to continue.

The second year, I kicked it up a notch and started drinking more water.  I know, insanity...

The third year, I basically combined the two...

This year, now that I am sort of settled and have a gym membership that I have used twice since it's start...

- I will plan on drinking at least the 64 oz of water as recommended before anything that actually tastes good.

- The intent is to work out daily although that may not be feasible with life happening as it tends to however every effort will be made to do so.

The big question now is what I do to take it further.

Kevin Smith has had good luck with cutting out processed sugars all together.

Some believe that vegetarian is the better way to go but that is just crazy talk.  I accidentally didn't eat meat for a day once and it was surreal.

Bread is great but those carbs are supposed to be bad...

What do I do?

A combination of all three?  Reducing, sugar, bread, meat?  Cutting them out completely?  (Sorry to say but I don't think that would happen...)

I know it is only a day away but please advise if you are so inclined.

Likewise, feel free to check up on me and keep me accountable.  I will reciprocate if you decide to participate in your own New Lent.

Here's for the next 45 days... Happy Fat Tuesday!!!

I doubt if I will make it to my post college look in that time but maybe I'll get on a good start to it.

Post college.
'I wanna look good naked..." - Lester Burnham - American Beauty 

As I liked it...

Found this in my old school junk...

(My nephew was wondering what grades I had gotten after I gave him a hard time about his recent test scores. He probably was hoping I had done just as poorly...)

I am sure I had heard 'All the World is a Stage', growing up in the theatre atmosphere but I KNOW I had not read As You Like It or heard the entire monologue.  You can call it a rip off if you want but I don't think it is too shabby for a 13 year old kid.

The Biggest Stage

By: Seth Berry

The entire world is a stage.

We are all acting on it.

God is the director and heaven is the backstage area.

The rehearsal for this performance has been since the beginning of time.

There are many curtain calls for this performance because, when you die, the curtain comes down for you.

After you die, the curtain comes down for you.

After you die, you return backstage and ask the director how you did.

This performance will go on forever and ever.

It has been going on since Adam and Eve were put on the stage.

Pain and suffering are just acting because backstage (heaven) there is none of that.

***I added or moved some comas but that is the extent of editing...  Be gentle with critiques whether spoken, written, or kept to yourself.

Finding this actually helped with some recent and past losses.  

I will have to remember the wisdom of my 13 year old self when I witness the next curtain call in this production.

Hypothetical Questions Get Hypothetical Answers

Hypothetical situation...

A guy is set up with a girl by a mutual friend.
While both parties are shy, he is told that he is 'her type' and that she would be in to him.

After meeting her, he gets the courage to ask the girl out. They go out and he has a good time, and she tells him that she had a good time.

When his schedule allows, he asks her out again and before you know it, a couple of weeks have past and they have gone out several times. Even if it wasn't always a conventional date, quite a bit of time was spent together and it appeared that both parties had a good time. (At least the hypothetical texts confirmed this after each outing or time spent together...)
It was even to the point that the girl was asking when the next time something could be done together. It was not just the boy doing the asking...
To use the popular baseball metaphor, the boy even got a hit. He was trying to make his way to first base but he is not very athletic and remember he is pretty shy...

Then comes an unfortunate evening in which some liquid courage was consumed.
The devil's libation made the boy send some texts that perhaps were a bit too bold and truthful...
This freaked the girl out a bit and seemed to make things awkward.
The boy was told by the mutual friend that everything was fine and the girl still was interested in him and he was over thinking the situation. The boy had nothing to worry about.

HOWEVER...

When the unfortunate evening was discussed later, the girl informed him that a connection was never felt and nothing would or could come of the pairing.

NOW...

Hypothetically, the boy realizes, as Tennessee Williams wrote in The Glass Menagerie, there are boys who meet girls that do not get married.

BUT...

Should the boy be perturbed or frustrated that, despite apparently no connection, the girl continued to accept requests for dates (even suggesting a time for the next one), and let the batter get a hit even if he didn't make it to first base...

Was the girl just being nice and didn't want to hurt his feelings?
Was the girl using him to do things until something better came along? (Hypothetically, the boy has dealt with that before...)
Did the girl feel sorry for him and that was the only reason she accepted the dates? (Hypothetically, the boy has had that happen too...)

OR...

Should the boy accept that this is just how 'the game' is played?
Should the boy just be grateful that it only went on for a few weeks before he found out nothing would happen?
Does the boy have reason to be perturbed?

Completely hypothetical of course...

Me, sarcastic? That seems to be the consensus...

sar·casm

[sahr-kaz-uhm] 

noun

1.Harsh or bitter derision or irony. Mocking, contemptuous, or ironic language intended to convey scorn or insult.

2. a sharply ironical taunt; sneering or cutting remark: a review full of sarcasms. The use or tone of such language.

Synonyms

1. sardonicism, bitterness, ridicule. See irony¹ . 2. jeer.

Does this describe me? 

I never thought so except for perhaps the occasional sarcastic remark for comedic effect.  In general I thought that people liked the happy go lucky 'clown' persona that I end up adopting when I am somewhat comfortable in a situation.  Others tend to not remember how reserved I am in a new setting.

All masks dropped, veils removed, and the lights turned on, I am a fairly shy.  Not super confident in myself. Overall pretty insecure.  All stemming from being ridiculed through twelve years of school.

Constantly concerned about what people thought of me, what they said to me, what they said to others about me...

To this day, I am extremely self conscious when in a new group or even a group of people that I am fairly comfortable with.

Needless to say, it is a bit disheartening when I find that the general feeling is that I could be described as 'sarcastic'...

To make it worse, already don't really feel accepted or part of the group.  

Perhaps this is why... 
Sarcasm, by definition, is regarded as negative.  Not something I necessarily want to be around.

I have been told my doppelganger is Sam Kinison.  I don't see the resemblance but maybe it is more about the harshness in his persona as well...  People tend to not 'get' him and take him the wrong way...

I understand that much of what I say is dry and people might not know if I am serious or not.  Not sure how to take me.

I can only hope that what turns out to be Hyperbole is confused with Sarcasm.
When people give me a compliment and I either say 'I know' or say it is because I am awesome. do I really mean that?  Am I that arrogant?  
No...  It is simply the facade I put up.  Inside I am constantly doubting my worth.

I have to wonder how often this has been the feeling of people I have met and worked with.
Is this why I am still single...  A sarcastic person is not the type that I would want to spend time with...
Is this why I always feel like the bonus onion ring...

I will probably be quiet for a few days, maybe longer, then the mask will go back on the persona that people expect (and want?) will be back, sarcastic, hyperbolistic, and the clown...

A gentleman in THE land of 'Gentleman Clubs'.

I had heard that Tampa had more 'gentleman's clubs', per capita, than any other place.

While driving today I think I passed 10 of them and it got me thinking.

Just on this list of 55, there are 32 that have a Tampa address.  This does not include any in Tampa that did not make the list or any additional outside of Tampa.

I am not making judgements about those who patronize the clubs or get their cash from said patrons.  To each his own.
Personally, I have not gone to one as I don't see the point.  Some may have heard my feelings on the subject but that is a whole other topic.

What was concerning me was, being a single guy looking for that special girl in a town with so many establishments of this type and therefore so many ladies being employed there. what are my chances of finding one that does not work at one.

Again, not judging but it might just be awkward introducing the lady to my family knowing what she does for a living.  Plus, not sure what I could offer her, should I happen to find one, with the money that I make, by comparison, and my job situation.

This all leads me to other questions...  Am I supposed to be in Tampa?  Should I be in another location with another job?  What is that job?  Is it in the theatre industry? 
Am I supposed to be in the theatre industry?  I don't think I would have been able to work as long as I have in the industry if this is not where I was supposed to be but it is difficult believe when it is so hard finding a job that wants to have me work for them full time and make a decent enough salary that I could support a family.  I didn't get into this industry to be rich but making enough to live comfortably would be nice.

Sorry for the tangent, I digress...

I realize that there are a lot of people in Tampa and in the Tampa area and I know a lot of girls that, to my knowledge, do not have a side job at one of the many clubs, but I can't help but wonder how many girls have I run into that have that second job or that is there only job...

Things that make you go hmmm...

Fat Tuesday! A time to be fat no more?

Edited to include some background for the newcomers...

Another Fat Tuesday has come and gone, so shall the fat that graces my body...

That is the plan anyway.

You guessed it.  It is time for New Lent 2013.

For those of you new to this... 
The New Lent is the opposite of your traditional Lent. Instead of giving something up for 40 days, you begin something for 45.  Preferably something that is a benefit to your life.  
Not just giving up pop/soda/tasty beverage, but drinking more water.  
Not giving up junk food, exercising.
You can read more about it in the link.

New Lent 2011 went well, as did New Lent 2012.

Me after working out during/after college...
That is the goal...

This year I am going to combine the previous two iterations in an attempt to lead a  healthier life and, to steal Lester Burnham's line from American Beauty, 'I want to look good naked.'

SO!  This year I will endeavor to drink more water.  The recommended 64 ounces a day.  Not only that, I will try to go beyond that and drink less tasty carbonated beverages.  I won't cut it out completely.  How can one watch a movie in the theater without drinking a very large, if over priced, glass of a tasty beverage...?

Additionally I will be working out (again)...  This time, unlike 2011, I have a exercise facilities readily available for me so there is not an excuse to not really get into it.

This should be fairly easier to accomplish as I will have some additional free time in a short 26 days.  If you don't know what I am talking about it is just as well.  I will take out that stress on the elliptical machine and/or the stacks of weight. 

As to the rules:
- I will consume, at least, 64 ounces of water prior to consuming any other type of beverage each day.
- Each day, I will do some type of work out.  I need to break a sweat.
- A 'day' is not over until I go to bed...  In general the exercise will be the first activity of the day.  If this is not ideal, it will take place later.  If I work out after midnight, it still counts for the day...
- Unlike traditional Lent, participants of The New Lent do not take off.  It is a seven day a week deal which means it runs for 45 days not the usual 40.

In years past, I asked for people to hold me accountable.  I was expected to post that I had worked out.  Friends would ask me daily to make sure I had or had made the plans to complete the task for the day.

I am not necessarily making that same request this year but if you have the desire to check up on me, feel free...

Update in 45 days, maybe before...

“Not the glittering weapon fights the fight, but rather the hero's heart.”

***A bit of recycling from BB times.  April 25, 2009***

A little bit of excitement today...

On my way into the flea market I heard some shouting to, 'Stop that guy'!!!

I then saw a big thug running towards me with a cash box in his hand. Women and children were running for cover...

I immediately kicked into hero mode. With cat-like speed and reflexes, I rushed the guy and tackled him pinning him to the hot pavement kneeling on his back and wrestling the cash box back from his vice like grip. He was begging for mercy. I had none to give...

I was able to return the hard earned money to the little old lady who was trying to make enough money for her dialysis treatments by selling the pot-holders knitted with her arthritic fingers.

I shall expect my tights and cape shortly...

Good Guys 1 - Bad Guys 0...

I am sure everyone has no problem believing these events as factual and true...

However, in reality... This is what happened...

I was on my way into the flea market, I did hear people shouting 'Stop Him!'

That is when I saw the skinny punk running toward me with the cash box in hand. (He must of been new... Trying to make a get away on a busy Saturday on foot with a cash box in his flailing hands. No TOO conspicuous.)
This guy probably would have been knocked over by a stiff breeze anyway...

Still with the cat-like speed and reflexes I threw my hands out to try to block him. Maybe it was the Hero look I have to me or maybe it was that I look like I could be a football player (little did he know that I can barely throw a football - I got the wind knocked out of me playing touch football in junior high...).
In any case, he tried to cut to the right to avoid me. At this point, he slipped and fell on the pavement and dropped the cash box. (Again his amateur-ness shown through as he did not have a good grip on the box and wasn't even holding it by the handle.) He was asking to be allowed to stand up, he promised not to run away (I assume because the pavement was hot).

At this point, four other bystanders grabbed him and held him on the ground until the police showed up on their very threatening golf cart... (At least their tires squealed a bit when they stopped...)

The 'perp' was cuffed and taken away to the flea market jail (he had to walk as there was no room in the golf cart) and the money was returned to the flea marketer... (Sorry no little old lady, I don't even know what the guy was selling)...

If it puts anyone's mind at ease... I do believe that I would have been very heroic if the other men had not jumped on him...

I think I could have taken the punk...

"Love looks not with the eyes but with the mind."

 Jerry Lee Lewis and his 13 year old wife...

So I posted the question to Facebook, 'what is an acceptable age difference when dating?'.

I received many very good answers to this query.

1) 'Make sure she is 18' / 'Not Jailbait'
2) +/- 10 years if you are over 21 is fine...

3) 1/2 my age plus 7.

Number one was one of my favorites and kind of a given...  (apparently Mr. Lewis didn't get that memo but you still gotta love "The Killer")

Reminds me of my time working at a theme park during college when they powers that be wanted to the techs to stand by the stage before the show. (Like people wanted to meet and talk to the guys who run around in the dark...)
What did we do?  Watched girls...  "13" was the code that we used to signify that we thought the female in question was not eighteen.  (If she was not 18, she might as well be 13.)

It also makes me think of a couple of friends from high school times in which the guy was a year older.  I think they were dating when they were both 17.  It then became, technically, illegal or 'wrong' for them to date once he turned 18.  Kind of an odd time for them.

Number two is okay at this point but would have been sketchy when I was 25 if I was pursuing the 15 year old.  As long as I referred to rule number one I would have been okay...

And number 3 (of course taking into account rule number one) seems okay.  Of course if I am still single when I am 60, I could be pursuing someone my current age...
Weird...
At that point I would probably switch to rule number two.

One friend asked how old the girl in question was?  ie: How much younger is the girl I am going for?

The answer to that is that there is not one really...  More of a situation where I am realizing that most of the women that I meet are either younger that me (fortunately satisfying rule number one but falling into the rule two or three range), or they are married and/or have kids.

Now if anyone knows me, or has actually dated me, they know the lighting fast speed in which I move when it comes to making a move and asking a girl out.  I tend to wait for a friendship to develop first which end up being my downfall because by that point I am in the dreaded 'friend zone'.  I like to avoid embarrassment or awkward situations and see if there is a chance at all prior to making that move.


That being said, most (of the few) girls I have dated were younger than me.  Typically only by a year or two.

One was a number two which made for some interesting conversations and/or film viewings...

This girl had not seen ANY of the Star Wars films...  I took the opportunity to watch them with her in chronological order.  It was kind of fun seeing the reaction of the the big family spoiler which I won't mention here in case any depraved individuals who read this have not been exposed to the saga...

I kind of like the idea of introducing someone younger than me to some of the, in my opinion, classics of cinema.

I guess I would be fine with being considered a Panther.  The mascot of my Alma mater is a panther so why not???

The Lady Doth Protest Too Much.

Or perhaps needs to protest a little bit more, or maybe have some type of reaction...

If you know me you may (or may not) know that I am extremely shy.  I find it very difficult to ask that simple question of, "Do you want to go out sometime?"
Long story of why I believe this to be, perhaps someday I will put finger to key and get it out there.
Mostly because I want to get to know a lady before asking her out...  Although most will say that is what they are looking for, it ends up ruining the chances as we have entered the friend zone.

If/when I do end up getting the nerve to ask that question and get that elusive first date and then actually keep them going, and become 'a couple'...  I believe I end up being a pretty good boyfriend.  (Should anyone who has dated me reads this and disagrees, please don't tell me...  Let me continue being blissfully unaware.)

All that being said.

A scenario to consider:

I am currently working with a nice girl who has a great personality and seems very fun.  I think we could get along nicely.  (BONUS: She is close to my age and is not married, and does not have any kids.  I have found that tough to find today depending on where you located.)

While chatting she mentioned that it is tough for her as most guys don't want to taker her out or date her.

I said, "I would love to take you out, are you working Friday?"

She thought for a second and said she was.  It was left at that as we had to get to work...

Optimistically I was hope for "Sure", or "Maybe we could do something after work", or "I work Friday but I am off on _______".
Alas, no...  Nothing more was really said.

So I have to ask, where did I go wrong?

Did I wait too long?  Could she still be interested and is just as shy about this sort of thing as me?  Should I keep asking?
I would think that if she was at all interested, she would have suggested an alternate time, of course I have been wrong before.

Then again, maybe I should take it as a practice run that was not meant to be.

There is another that I had been trying to be bold enough to ask out.  We have similar taste in books and TV shows.
Maybe just maybe, if I am lucky.  She will be working tomorrow and I will have enough courage and the opportunity to ask her out after I had my little dry run today...

Who knows, maybe this one will say yes...

Heaven hath pleas'd it so to punish me with this, and this with me.

If only a good guy, me, can catch a break.

To be fair, I know things could be A LOT worse...  But still.

After months, actually more like years, I have finally found a company that recognizes the value of having me in their employ for more than a couple of days or weeks at a time.

This resulted in my having to find a domicile closer to the job as I would have a 100 mile/2 hour commute.  Doable if I had to in a pinch but not ideal.

The plan was/is to find an apartment for myself.  Sounds easy enough right?

WELL...

Not so easy if;
a) You worked in a situation where you traveled 100% of the time and housing was provided. As you were home for six weeks between contracts there was not a need to keep property.
b) When you did work with a company where you were in one place for the whole time you ended up getting a house as it was easier and more economical then the rentals in the area.
c) Stopped working where you had to travel so much so you could assist your family in moving and in general housework.
d) As a result you, not wanting to collect UN-employment, have taken various jobs out of your field so you could continue to do things like pay bills...

I found a very nice place.  Gated community, lots of nice amenities, and very close to the new place of employment.
As part of the application this particular complex (could be others, but I have no frame of reference) 'scores' you based on three factors. Job history and longevity, rental history, and credit score.
Due to my circumstances I received ZERO points for rental history due to the reasons listed.  And I received low points for job longevity due to taking the job that is available and the nature of my business having jobs that are a couple of weeks or a couple months.  It is not the regular job where you are working year round with a couple of weeks vacation.

Although I have an excellent credit score and have been working since I was 15 with minimal gaps in that history, I was not readily approved to get the apartment.
At this point, due to low 'score', I would have to pay double the security deposit, and would not qualify for the bonus of first month's rent free.

Being a good person who has always paid bills, including a mortgage, and decided to stop working where I had been for years so I could help my parents when they need it does NOT factor in.

Why am I being penalized for this?  I continually seeing people that do not seem to have any type of job residing in places and finding a wife and starting a family (often times not wanting the latter but getting it anyway) and collecting support for their 'effort'.

Any reward for hard work and support of family???


Perhaps I should have forgotten about the shorter jobs where I was a manager or supervisor and opted for a job mopping floors that had longevity.

Floors always need to be mopped.

UPDATE:   I have been approved but I still need to pay DOUBLE the security deposit.  This is less than one month's rent and I do get one month free but still not happy about it.  
"We have to use the same criteria for everyone..."
Based on their application/approval process - I would have gotten a better score if I had worked steadily as a dishwasher and paid a friend $25 to sleep on his couch...

At least I know where I will be sleeping when I start work...

I could maybe be a threat... Honest... Not in bad way though...

I guess it is good that women do not see me as threatening…  But come on…

True, when you work in theatre, there is often not a whole lot of room for modesty in the dressing room or backstage.  Quick changes have to happen, as the name implies, very quickly. You don’t always have separate dressing rooms.  You have to change clothes where ever you have space to do so.

Also true is the fact that many men involved with theatre are gay.  This often makes many women more comfortable when making quick changes.  However, I am proof that not ALL men involved with theatre are gay.  I always thought that was odd that the stigma was theatre=gay, sports=straight.  To me: Playing sports means hanging out with a bunch of dudes and maybe some cheerleaders if you are lucky.  Working in theatre means hanging out with a bunch of girls (as well as guys), and often getting to dance with the girls.  Not to mention being around quick changes and various costumes with varying amounts of the body being revealed...

As a straight male, I prefer the latter of the two.

That being said, some women do prefer to keep some bit of modesty when they can which is understandable.  If it is not a quick change, keep the door to the dressing room closed, not having everyone running in and out as they please.  Sometimes this is not wanting to give the creepy dudes a free show if there is that feeling.

One time, while working with a production of The Rockettes, I was returning some costumes from some quick changes after the show.  I politely knocked on the door instead of just barging in with the costumes.  The response from inside was, ‘Come in if you’re gay!’.   I informed them that it was Seth.  They proceeded to say that it was fine that I enter. 

WHAT?  Either I was giving off the impression that I was gay or they did not see me as a threat and knew that I would not gawk.   (I hope it was the second option but either way...  Come on...)

In a more recent situation, someone decided to open the door to the dressing room with minimal clothing on.  I believe in an attempt to embarrass me or get a reaction from me.  They did not succeed so they proceeded to jump up and down and say that they were ‘naked’.  This I disagreed with.  Naked would require even fewer clothes on that what she did have.  

In reality many people show more at the beach than they do in their underwear so it really is not a big deal... 

More recently still, the same female, while in a housing situation, did not seem to have a problem walking about with minimal clothing.  Not the whole time, just while getting ready but still.

Now I am not saying I want women to feel uncomfortable around me to the point where they need to wear a burqa.  But at least see me as a guy who will enjoy seeing minimal or no clothing, and I am not as safe as a guy who has no interest what-so-ever in what she has to offer…

So feel free to prance around almost naked if you want but don't expect a reaction from me when in a work situation.  

If it is not a work situation I will probably enjoy it (despite my feelings on strip clubs) but it is not nice to tease people...

Then swore I that I was a stranger here. B

Continuing from where we left off...

Amsterdam:

I tried to walk under the ship.

Amsterdam was our home port and one of the few European ports in which you could easily walk into town from the ship and I was pretty comfortable with my surroundings.

In Town

Turn left: Red Light District

Turn right: town.

Not in RLD but a very interesting
advertising technique...
Would never happen in the US...

Yes, I did venture into "The District".  How could I not, being in Amsterdam.  Kind of un-nerving, women throwing themselves at me from their little windows.  This is a rarity for me with or without windows.  And, lets be honest, we were there in the morning mid week...  I was probably not seeing the A or even the B squad.  

This particular day, I was enjoying the weather and wandering around.  Again, I was comfortable in the area and did not think I would have an issue getting back to the ship.

However, the Dutch did not receive the memo about the streets in a grid formation either.  I got turned all around.

Fortunately they are much more open to speaking English.  I showed several people my ship ID and asked where to find the ship.  I got vague directions from several people and finally saw the top edge of the ship.  I only had to get across the train tracks and elevated road.  

I see a road that appears to go underneath the railroad tracks complete with a little walk way on the one side.

I proceed into the 'small' tunnel.  I am walking along and do not get to the end of the tunnel.  

I begin to walk faster.

My 'logic' is that if I am going to get/be lost, I would rather get somewhere sooner rather than later.

As I am walking the drivers begin to honk at me but I proceed on my path.

Yellow/Orange lights begin to flash and there is a announcement over the loud speaker.  In Dutch, obviously.  Does not really help me.  A little bit more walking and there is more honking lights and Dutch.  Still not helping.

I realize I have a pursuer.  A nice gentlemen in uniform catches up to me and asks where I am trying to go.  I explain my situation and he just shakes his head and escorts me back the way I had come to a little doorway.  We take an elevator up to street level and I am right by the ship...

The way I figure it, I was under the ship/later attempting to make my way across the bay to the other side.

I thanked the nice man and proceeded to get my butt back on the ship.  This time with about 15 minutes to spare...

Alaska: 

I almost missed the ship...

The town of Ketchikan asked the ship if we would like to be in the fourth of July parade as we were in port on the fourth.  We agreed but was basically required for myself along with a couple of other entertainment personnel on board. (This may have been the cruise in which I got into a big fight over a Canada Day/Fourth of July party...  It got ugly...  Maybe a later blog...)

The provided us with a flat bed truck in which we could build a float.  We had a fabricated smoke stack complete with one of our foggers from the theatre, a bunch of people to ride on and walk along side during the parade, and some speakers and music that we would play.

We were all set up and ready to go when we were informed of two key things. 

1) The start time of the parade was moved back a little bit.

2) Our position in the parade was moved back.

A combination of these two factors was going to make it very tight for us to get back to the ship when we were done.  The officials assured us that we would be fine.  Of course they were not the ones operating the ship...

We had the Cruise Director, Production Manager, AV Manager (me), and the Lighting Tech on this float.  When we were done, we were past the all aboard time for crew and quickly approaching the all aboard for the guests (meaning the ship would be pulling away and leaving).

The nice folks in Ketchikan offered to hold onto all our equipment until the next week but we weren't exactly comfortable with that.

Our flat bed driver came to the rescue.  He proceed to race through the small streets of Ketchikan (sometimes down the wrong way on a one way), to get us back to the ship.  He races up to the dock and security has removed the rails of the gangway, broken down all the scanners and metal detectors.

We were the last four people to get back on board.

As soon as we got up the ramp they were pulling it in and we started pulling away from the dock.

If you are ever on a cruise - BE ON TIME.  THEY WILL LEAVE WITH OUT YOU!  It does not matter who you are, except maybe the Captain.

Not the only adventures I have had in my life but they kind of stand out...

Then swore I that I was a stranger here. A

As I have previously mentioned, I have had the opportunity to travel quite a bit.

Traveling to a foreign country can be difficult.  When you don't speak the language of that land, navigating it can be difficult.  I would say if you were going to spend any length of time in one area, learn the language.  If I had been able to learn ALL the different languages of the lands that I was going to be visiting, it would have been very intense.  Although I visited each port several times, I was never spending an extended period of time in any one port.  The longest would be Germany for a few weeks and it was quite tough not knowing too much German.
However, if I were to move to Mexico, I would learn A LOT more Spanish.  Likewise, if someone moves here to the United States, they should have a strong grasp of the English language.
I applaud anyone who is able to to communicate in more than one language with little or no difficulty.  Being bi-lingual is very cool.

I am getting a little of subject.

As promised, I will know tell regale you with some of my adventures I have had.

France:

They DO NOT want to speak/understand English even if they know it...

I was not too excited when the itinerary included France.  Partly because the company would say that the ship stops in Paris, when this was not the case.  The stop was actually La Havre.  It was an additional two and a half hour train ride to get to Paris.
I was not planning on making the additional trip to Paris.  I would just hit the mall in La Havre.  I do not speak French except for a few small phrases.  I could just as easy not be understood in La Havre as I could in Paris without the extra expense.
The more I thought about it I figured, "when will I get to go to Paris?", so I decided to throw caution to the wind and take the trip.  I had no idea which way to go when I got there...

Upon arrival, the first order of business was lunch.  As mentioned, not knowing the native language, I headed for the familiar golden arches to get some food.  I figured, if nothing else, I could order like they suggested in Pulp Fiction.
"One Royal with Cheese meal please!"
Blank Stare
"Quarter Pounder?"
Smile and nod and I proceed to pay the insane prices after conversion from USD to EU.  (Much disappointment brought to me by Quentin Tarantino that day.)

After wandering around, seeing some cool architecture and what I am pretty sure was an announcement for a public hanging, I happened to stumble across the Louvre.  The courtyard was HUGE!  Then when I got to the far end of it, there was the Eiffel tower.  It did not appear to be far away but looks can be deceiving so I chose to head back to the train station.

Sound easy?  IT WAS NOT...  Apparently no one told the French (or any of the Europeans) that it is much easier to make streets in a grid formation.  I was pretty much lost.

I then proceeded to ask people (very humbly, not 'cocky American') where the train station was.  I even had a nice little prop, a train schedule I had picked up prior to leaving the train station. I mostly received a silent shrug from the various Parisians.
If I remember correctly, I even had found the McDonalds so I knew I was close.
When I finally found the train station, I discovered it was right on the same block and across the street from MANY people I had asked...

I then made the trip back to La Havre only to discover that the shuttle to go from town back to the ship was done.  I was on my own to get back.  (Here we go again.)
Fortunately I found a bar with some younger people and a fast food place Quick Burger?  Maybe another McDonald's in which they were able to call me a cab to take me back to the ship.

After my excellent cabbie got me back to the ship with about 30 minutes to spare before all aboard (cutting it VERY close for me), and me showering him with the Euros I had left, I made it back to my tiny room and collapsed.

Russia:

 I WAS ROBBED!!!

Not as exciting as it sounds but still very traumatic for me.

It was a process to get off the ship in St. Petersburg.  Unless you were going on a shore excursion, had a Russian passport or a visa from your home country, you were not allowed off the ship.   The company made 'shore excursions' for the crew meaning a shuttle from the port into St. Isaac's Square.  From there you could walk to The Church of the Spilt Blood, or get a 'cab' to where ever you wanted to go.  I say 'cab' because pretty much anyone with some room in their backseat and some extra time could and would be a cab for you.

Back to the robbery.

I was not forced at knife point into a alley and shaken down and all my money take from me and left with only my socks...
At some point, while walking around the well populated areas (I am not THAT stupid), someone very skillfully opened up the zipper pocket on my Old Navy back pack and removed my mini tri-pod for my camera and my hacky sac.

I warned you it was devastating.

Fortunately I had my passport in the interior portion of the pack and my cash and camera were in the front pockets.
Now, I am not that good at hacky sac (I have this thing were I am reluctant to practice in public for a fear of people mocking me...  Flashbacks to High School I guess), and I have a steady hand for photography so it is was not a major loss but I still felt violated and not in the good way...


I know this is going a bit long so:

To Be Continued