Heaven hath pleas'd it so to punish me with this, and this with me.

If only a good guy, me, can catch a break.

To be fair, I know things could be A LOT worse...  But still.

After months, actually more like years, I have finally found a company that recognizes the value of having me in their employ for more than a couple of days or weeks at a time.

This resulted in my having to find a domicile closer to the job as I would have a 100 mile/2 hour commute.  Doable if I had to in a pinch but not ideal.

The plan was/is to find an apartment for myself.  Sounds easy enough right?

WELL...

Not so easy if;
a) You worked in a situation where you traveled 100% of the time and housing was provided. As you were home for six weeks between contracts there was not a need to keep property.
b) When you did work with a company where you were in one place for the whole time you ended up getting a house as it was easier and more economical then the rentals in the area.
c) Stopped working where you had to travel so much so you could assist your family in moving and in general housework.
d) As a result you, not wanting to collect UN-employment, have taken various jobs out of your field so you could continue to do things like pay bills...

I found a very nice place.  Gated community, lots of nice amenities, and very close to the new place of employment.
As part of the application this particular complex (could be others, but I have no frame of reference) 'scores' you based on three factors. Job history and longevity, rental history, and credit score.
Due to my circumstances I received ZERO points for rental history due to the reasons listed.  And I received low points for job longevity due to taking the job that is available and the nature of my business having jobs that are a couple of weeks or a couple months.  It is not the regular job where you are working year round with a couple of weeks vacation.

Although I have an excellent credit score and have been working since I was 15 with minimal gaps in that history, I was not readily approved to get the apartment.
At this point, due to low 'score', I would have to pay double the security deposit, and would not qualify for the bonus of first month's rent free.

Being a good person who has always paid bills, including a mortgage, and decided to stop working where I had been for years so I could help my parents when they need it does NOT factor in.

Why am I being penalized for this?  I continually seeing people that do not seem to have any type of job residing in places and finding a wife and starting a family (often times not wanting the latter but getting it anyway) and collecting support for their 'effort'.

Any reward for hard work and support of family???


Perhaps I should have forgotten about the shorter jobs where I was a manager or supervisor and opted for a job mopping floors that had longevity.

Floors always need to be mopped.

UPDATE:   I have been approved but I still need to pay DOUBLE the security deposit.  This is less than one month's rent and I do get one month free but still not happy about it.  
"We have to use the same criteria for everyone..."
Based on their application/approval process - I would have gotten a better score if I had worked steadily as a dishwasher and paid a friend $25 to sleep on his couch...

At least I know where I will be sleeping when I start work...

I could maybe be a threat... Honest... Not in bad way though...

I guess it is good that women do not see me as threatening…  But come on…

True, when you work in theatre, there is often not a whole lot of room for modesty in the dressing room or backstage.  Quick changes have to happen, as the name implies, very quickly. You don’t always have separate dressing rooms.  You have to change clothes where ever you have space to do so.

Also true is the fact that many men involved with theatre are gay.  This often makes many women more comfortable when making quick changes.  However, I am proof that not ALL men involved with theatre are gay.  I always thought that was odd that the stigma was theatre=gay, sports=straight.  To me: Playing sports means hanging out with a bunch of dudes and maybe some cheerleaders if you are lucky.  Working in theatre means hanging out with a bunch of girls (as well as guys), and often getting to dance with the girls.  Not to mention being around quick changes and various costumes with varying amounts of the body being revealed...

As a straight male, I prefer the latter of the two.

That being said, some women do prefer to keep some bit of modesty when they can which is understandable.  If it is not a quick change, keep the door to the dressing room closed, not having everyone running in and out as they please.  Sometimes this is not wanting to give the creepy dudes a free show if there is that feeling.

One time, while working with a production of The Rockettes, I was returning some costumes from some quick changes after the show.  I politely knocked on the door instead of just barging in with the costumes.  The response from inside was, ‘Come in if you’re gay!’.   I informed them that it was Seth.  They proceeded to say that it was fine that I enter. 

WHAT?  Either I was giving off the impression that I was gay or they did not see me as a threat and knew that I would not gawk.   (I hope it was the second option but either way...  Come on...)

In a more recent situation, someone decided to open the door to the dressing room with minimal clothing on.  I believe in an attempt to embarrass me or get a reaction from me.  They did not succeed so they proceeded to jump up and down and say that they were ‘naked’.  This I disagreed with.  Naked would require even fewer clothes on that what she did have.  

In reality many people show more at the beach than they do in their underwear so it really is not a big deal... 

More recently still, the same female, while in a housing situation, did not seem to have a problem walking about with minimal clothing.  Not the whole time, just while getting ready but still.

Now I am not saying I want women to feel uncomfortable around me to the point where they need to wear a burqa.  But at least see me as a guy who will enjoy seeing minimal or no clothing, and I am not as safe as a guy who has no interest what-so-ever in what she has to offer…

So feel free to prance around almost naked if you want but don't expect a reaction from me when in a work situation.  

If it is not a work situation I will probably enjoy it (despite my feelings on strip clubs) but it is not nice to tease people...

Then swore I that I was a stranger here. B

Continuing from where we left off...

Amsterdam:

I tried to walk under the ship.

Amsterdam was our home port and one of the few European ports in which you could easily walk into town from the ship and I was pretty comfortable with my surroundings.

In Town

Turn left: Red Light District

Turn right: town.

Not in RLD but a very interesting
advertising technique...
Would never happen in the US...

Yes, I did venture into "The District".  How could I not, being in Amsterdam.  Kind of un-nerving, women throwing themselves at me from their little windows.  This is a rarity for me with or without windows.  And, lets be honest, we were there in the morning mid week...  I was probably not seeing the A or even the B squad.  

This particular day, I was enjoying the weather and wandering around.  Again, I was comfortable in the area and did not think I would have an issue getting back to the ship.

However, the Dutch did not receive the memo about the streets in a grid formation either.  I got turned all around.

Fortunately they are much more open to speaking English.  I showed several people my ship ID and asked where to find the ship.  I got vague directions from several people and finally saw the top edge of the ship.  I only had to get across the train tracks and elevated road.  

I see a road that appears to go underneath the railroad tracks complete with a little walk way on the one side.

I proceed into the 'small' tunnel.  I am walking along and do not get to the end of the tunnel.  

I begin to walk faster.

My 'logic' is that if I am going to get/be lost, I would rather get somewhere sooner rather than later.

As I am walking the drivers begin to honk at me but I proceed on my path.

Yellow/Orange lights begin to flash and there is a announcement over the loud speaker.  In Dutch, obviously.  Does not really help me.  A little bit more walking and there is more honking lights and Dutch.  Still not helping.

I realize I have a pursuer.  A nice gentlemen in uniform catches up to me and asks where I am trying to go.  I explain my situation and he just shakes his head and escorts me back the way I had come to a little doorway.  We take an elevator up to street level and I am right by the ship...

The way I figure it, I was under the ship/later attempting to make my way across the bay to the other side.

I thanked the nice man and proceeded to get my butt back on the ship.  This time with about 15 minutes to spare...

Alaska: 

I almost missed the ship...

The town of Ketchikan asked the ship if we would like to be in the fourth of July parade as we were in port on the fourth.  We agreed but was basically required for myself along with a couple of other entertainment personnel on board. (This may have been the cruise in which I got into a big fight over a Canada Day/Fourth of July party...  It got ugly...  Maybe a later blog...)

The provided us with a flat bed truck in which we could build a float.  We had a fabricated smoke stack complete with one of our foggers from the theatre, a bunch of people to ride on and walk along side during the parade, and some speakers and music that we would play.

We were all set up and ready to go when we were informed of two key things. 

1) The start time of the parade was moved back a little bit.

2) Our position in the parade was moved back.

A combination of these two factors was going to make it very tight for us to get back to the ship when we were done.  The officials assured us that we would be fine.  Of course they were not the ones operating the ship...

We had the Cruise Director, Production Manager, AV Manager (me), and the Lighting Tech on this float.  When we were done, we were past the all aboard time for crew and quickly approaching the all aboard for the guests (meaning the ship would be pulling away and leaving).

The nice folks in Ketchikan offered to hold onto all our equipment until the next week but we weren't exactly comfortable with that.

Our flat bed driver came to the rescue.  He proceed to race through the small streets of Ketchikan (sometimes down the wrong way on a one way), to get us back to the ship.  He races up to the dock and security has removed the rails of the gangway, broken down all the scanners and metal detectors.

We were the last four people to get back on board.

As soon as we got up the ramp they were pulling it in and we started pulling away from the dock.

If you are ever on a cruise - BE ON TIME.  THEY WILL LEAVE WITH OUT YOU!  It does not matter who you are, except maybe the Captain.

Not the only adventures I have had in my life but they kind of stand out...

Then swore I that I was a stranger here. A

As I have previously mentioned, I have had the opportunity to travel quite a bit.

Traveling to a foreign country can be difficult.  When you don't speak the language of that land, navigating it can be difficult.  I would say if you were going to spend any length of time in one area, learn the language.  If I had been able to learn ALL the different languages of the lands that I was going to be visiting, it would have been very intense.  Although I visited each port several times, I was never spending an extended period of time in any one port.  The longest would be Germany for a few weeks and it was quite tough not knowing too much German.
However, if I were to move to Mexico, I would learn A LOT more Spanish.  Likewise, if someone moves here to the United States, they should have a strong grasp of the English language.
I applaud anyone who is able to to communicate in more than one language with little or no difficulty.  Being bi-lingual is very cool.

I am getting a little of subject.

As promised, I will know tell regale you with some of my adventures I have had.

France:

They DO NOT want to speak/understand English even if they know it...

I was not too excited when the itinerary included France.  Partly because the company would say that the ship stops in Paris, when this was not the case.  The stop was actually La Havre.  It was an additional two and a half hour train ride to get to Paris.
I was not planning on making the additional trip to Paris.  I would just hit the mall in La Havre.  I do not speak French except for a few small phrases.  I could just as easy not be understood in La Havre as I could in Paris without the extra expense.
The more I thought about it I figured, "when will I get to go to Paris?", so I decided to throw caution to the wind and take the trip.  I had no idea which way to go when I got there...

Upon arrival, the first order of business was lunch.  As mentioned, not knowing the native language, I headed for the familiar golden arches to get some food.  I figured, if nothing else, I could order like they suggested in Pulp Fiction.
"One Royal with Cheese meal please!"
Blank Stare
"Quarter Pounder?"
Smile and nod and I proceed to pay the insane prices after conversion from USD to EU.  (Much disappointment brought to me by Quentin Tarantino that day.)

After wandering around, seeing some cool architecture and what I am pretty sure was an announcement for a public hanging, I happened to stumble across the Louvre.  The courtyard was HUGE!  Then when I got to the far end of it, there was the Eiffel tower.  It did not appear to be far away but looks can be deceiving so I chose to head back to the train station.

Sound easy?  IT WAS NOT...  Apparently no one told the French (or any of the Europeans) that it is much easier to make streets in a grid formation.  I was pretty much lost.

I then proceeded to ask people (very humbly, not 'cocky American') where the train station was.  I even had a nice little prop, a train schedule I had picked up prior to leaving the train station. I mostly received a silent shrug from the various Parisians.
If I remember correctly, I even had found the McDonalds so I knew I was close.
When I finally found the train station, I discovered it was right on the same block and across the street from MANY people I had asked...

I then made the trip back to La Havre only to discover that the shuttle to go from town back to the ship was done.  I was on my own to get back.  (Here we go again.)
Fortunately I found a bar with some younger people and a fast food place Quick Burger?  Maybe another McDonald's in which they were able to call me a cab to take me back to the ship.

After my excellent cabbie got me back to the ship with about 30 minutes to spare before all aboard (cutting it VERY close for me), and me showering him with the Euros I had left, I made it back to my tiny room and collapsed.

Russia:

 I WAS ROBBED!!!

Not as exciting as it sounds but still very traumatic for me.

It was a process to get off the ship in St. Petersburg.  Unless you were going on a shore excursion, had a Russian passport or a visa from your home country, you were not allowed off the ship.   The company made 'shore excursions' for the crew meaning a shuttle from the port into St. Isaac's Square.  From there you could walk to The Church of the Spilt Blood, or get a 'cab' to where ever you wanted to go.  I say 'cab' because pretty much anyone with some room in their backseat and some extra time could and would be a cab for you.

Back to the robbery.

I was not forced at knife point into a alley and shaken down and all my money take from me and left with only my socks...
At some point, while walking around the well populated areas (I am not THAT stupid), someone very skillfully opened up the zipper pocket on my Old Navy back pack and removed my mini tri-pod for my camera and my hacky sac.

I warned you it was devastating.

Fortunately I had my passport in the interior portion of the pack and my cash and camera were in the front pockets.
Now, I am not that good at hacky sac (I have this thing were I am reluctant to practice in public for a fear of people mocking me...  Flashbacks to High School I guess), and I have a steady hand for photography so it is was not a major loss but I still felt violated and not in the good way...


I know this is going a bit long so:

To Be Continued

Happy Fat Tuesday!!!

Okay...  This is a quicky!

We are on a timeline people...

I only had a little bit of time in which I thought about #TheNewLent 2012 or 2.0 whatever you want to call it.

I think last year was a pretty good success.  I didn't quite make it a full 365 days of working out but made it to sometime in November.  I am working diligently to continue on that path.  I am not what I would call buff yet but I think I look better than what I did a year ago. 
If/when I get a job that is consistently paying me, I am planning on getting a gym membership, and one for next month when I am working on the East coast so I can do actual work outs instead of the minimal work that I am able to do at home.

All that being said.  I need suggestions.

1) What do we call it?  #TheNewLent2012?  #TheNewLent2.0?  #ReturnOfTheNewLent?  What?

2) What do I do?  The only thing that I had thought about trying was to drink more water.  We are not going crazy here and giving up Diet Pepsi.  Plus, that is not what #TheNewLent is about.  It is about starting something new.  Not giving up something old.
My initial plan was to drink the recommended 64oz. (Ironically it looks like 64 is not the magic number any more but I am not going to refigure...  I still think it could be a good idea.  Timeline 'member?) of water BEFORE I allow myself the sweet nectar that is Diet Pepsi or anything else.

What do you think?  This sort of builds on last year and is a good improvement on lifestyle.

Let me know people...  t-minus 11.5 hours before I have to begin this thing...  Same deal though...  If I am indulging in a beverage prior to going to bed, the new day does not begin until I wake up the next morning...

Bring on the suggestions...

Only Time Will Tell If It Was Time Well Spent

This is not meant to be an excuse for my last blog, but more of a reason behind my feelings held within said blog.  This may sound whiny at times and bragy at others but it is just the stream of consciousness writing that is the way my brain works and what goes through it almost on a daily basis...  Welcome to my mind...  Maybe this is why I like to keep busy with work when I can, not giving my mind time to think about it...

Some may say that I am over thinking things and that everything will happen as it should.  It is on God's timetable not my own.  I can understand this but I am just looking at the numbers...

At this point in my life I do not have a Girlfriend, no real prospects, and not in a very stable job situation so if I were to have a prospect I would not feel super-comfortable thinking about starting a family with her.

Sometimes I wonder if I have done something wrong with my life.  What have I accomplished?  Did I make a wrong turn?  Did I make a wrong choice?  (Yes, everything we do and every choice that we make, good and bad, develops us into who we are.)  What if I had made a different choice ten years ago, twenty?  What would be happening in my life right now?  Would I be taking a kid to daycare or fearing them becoming a teen in a couple of years?  Your basic butterfly effect...

I see friends from high school and college who have gotten married and have a family and are able to watch them grow up.  I see friends who are a good decade younger than myself in the same scenario.  In theory they are in a stable enough job in which they can afford this.  (I know I know, things can always be tight and money does not buy happiness.  It does not buy happiness but it can make for a less stressful time of things.) Many will also tell you that you will never be completely stable financially, there will always be another bill, another expense.  You will not always be ready for all of them.

What have I done with my life?

When I really look at it, I have done a lot of things that many people my age have not had the opportunity to do, if they will ever have the chance.

One of the first things is that I was able to go to college.  Some of my cousins have attended but I am the first in my immediate family to get a degree.

The major thing that I have been able to experience was travel.  I worked on Celebrity Cruise lines for several years and toured all over the Caribbean, Alaska and Europe.  Not many can check off; Russia, France, Egypt, Jerusalem, Amsterdam, Sweden, Norway, Germany, Turkey,
Greece, Spain, Ireland, Aruba, Acapulco, St. Marteen, Jamaica,  traversing the Panama Canal seeing the calving of a glacier on their list (bucket or otherwise).

(I almost didn't make it back to the ship in France and Alaska, I tried to walk under it in Amsterdam, and got my pocket picked in Russia but those are stories for another time...)

Guggenheim Museum, NY NY

Flam, Norway

Helsinki Cathedral - Helsinki, Finland

Hubbard Glacier, AK

St. Basil's - Moscow, Russia

Church in Honor of Mary Magdalene - Jeruselem

The Little Mermaid - Copenhagen, Denmark

Church of the Spilt Blood - St. Petersburg, Russia

Barbados

Kremlin - Moscow, Russia

The Louvre - Paris, France (HUGE!!! Wish I could put up a panoramic shot...)

The Sphinx and Giza Pyramids
Sphinx was much smaller than it appears in pictures

My Camel and more Pyramids

Again, not trying to brag, just give you a better idea of where I am coming from.

So I have done some stuff with my life so far.  However, there is so many more things that I want to do...  Having a family and passing on the family name is the main thing.

IF... TOMORROW...  I had a good job, a great girlfriend that I could see myself falling in love with and growing old with, and married her the next day, had a baby in the next nine months (preferably in that order)...  I would be about 54 years old when that first child graduated from high school...  This is all assuming I get married and get right into the baby making next week...  Not likely to happen, so that is just pushing that age further and further along.  Good thing men don't really have that whole biological clock thing going on for them...

This is all considering one kid.  The way my mind is working I need at least two...  One of each...
I would like a boy for my own desire to pass along the family name.  It is pretty much up to me if decades from now there are to be any 'Berry's' running around in shorts in the middle of winter.
I need to have a little girl for my Mom...  She desperately wants a granddaughter.  My sister has had three boys.  Every time my Mom sees a little girl or a little girls outfit or little girl shoes, she says that she wants a little girl to dress up, she only has grandsons...  Every now and then she mentions that it is up to me...  No pressure though... :-)
I do know Mom just wants me to be happy with whatever happens in my life...

I truly believe that age is a state of mind.  You are only as old as you feel.  I don't feel like I am 36.  Most people when they meet me do not realize that I am as old as I am.  Often, people think I am a good ten years younger than I am.  I guess that is a good thing but it does not change the fact that, the way things are going, I will be in my 60's when my kid(s) are graduating high school, not to mention college and urging my kids to get to having kids so I can enjoy the my grandchildren...

Phew...  You are now free to exit the craziness of my mind and proceed with your, hopefully, saner life.

Black Sand Beach - Puntarenas, Costa Rica

Darkness must go down the river of night's dreaming

That is right...  It is that time of year again when a dark day falls on the calendar.  Black Tuesday approaches.  This darkest of days is more commonly known as Valentines Day.

I have nothing personal against the day itself, it is just an ugly reminder that for 36 years now I have been single (on that day).  I know my Valentine could be right around the corner and on year 37 I could have a whole different outlook on the day.  I like to be optimistic about life but 36 years and counting, no 'special someone' on that day so far...

The dreaded candy aisle...

It seems that the day begins to show it's ugly face the day after Christmas when the red and green candy is swapped with red and pink...  Hearts everywhere...  Little cupids mocking me and reminding me that I still don't have a "Plus One".  If I was invited to a wedding, I would have to check the box admitting that I would be attending alone.  Just one chicken...  No guest for me...



To make it even worse the evil(er) twin shows up a short eight months later.  I am referring to Sweetest Day.  According to the link, it is meant to recognize all loved ones but lets be honest.  It is a mini-valentine's day.  The candy aisle mocks, "still don't have a girlfriend huh?".

Ironically the former holiday originated to honor martyrs but has evolved into the 'holiday' it is today.  Candy hearts, overpriced flowers, and bitter singles sitting alone at the movies...

America spends about $15 million on gifts for loved ones.  Pretty wild.

A friend mentioned (after being bummed about being single for the moment) that love should be celebrated all year long.  It should not be saved up for one day (maybe two) during the year.

Back in the day, when finances allowed it, my Dad would always do special things for my Mom.  At one point he would get a special gift for her each month.

I am not saying that it has to be monetary at all.  If/when you find that someone special, you need to love them each day and make sure they know it.  Remember the little things (like if they don't like pickles on their burgers), and love their idiosyncrasies and all of their little quirks.

If you are lucky enough to have a special someone right now,  start this year off right and celebrate every day with them.  Don't save it for the 14th day in February.

While you are doing that, I will be wearing black in 'honor' of the day.

Perhaps next year I will be ooey-gooey...  Time will tell.